I LOVE music. I’ve been playing ever since I’ve been 10 and the older I get the more I develop as a musician. I’ve never been this emotionally attached to music than I am now. I’ve been avoiding all majors but music performance or anything to do with it, because my family has it. nailed. in. my. head. that its not okay to do anything but science or make a anything below sixty a year because that makes you a failure. real cool family. I haven’t developed technicality over the past year that much, but my musicality has honestly noticeably grown a lot. Some once told me that you need the musicality first, then the technicality. I’ve never honestly understood this crazy person until this year and I completely agree with what they’ve said. I want to cry when I think how much I’ve already sacrificed by not majoring in it already. I just can’t seem to make that ballsy enough of a change. I’m already hopping around from school to school running from everything that I’m not sure if I’m ready to just completely change the track of my life when my most successful life option, in this society, would be my path now. Fuuuuuck. I wish I could just have all my answers just handed to me, but I guess that’s not all the bullshit that life consists of. I guess I actually have to make some decisions with my life. I asked an older person once if life gets any easier, they said no you just get more experienced. Looks like I’m gonna have to grow some balls and deal with life. I’m sure in the end it’ll be okay, because I’m not a person that settles, but I’m so stubborn and overanalyzing that this will be more difficult before it gets any easier.